Initus (Walking Shadows Book 5) Read online

  “Tori…” I croak.

  “Here,” Van hands me a glass of water and I drink it at once. “What about Tori? I’m sorry, she informed me that your friends are to remain here. They’re forbidden to leave or they’ll be shot in the attempt. Is that it? She told you?”

  He’s rambling now, worried about what could have sent me into such a state. Does he not know about Tori’s power? Or can he not fathom that she’d ever abuse it?

  “I don’t know why they’ve been ordered on house arrest, but I can look into it–”

  “No!” I stop him. If he’s truly innocent, then I won’t risk him getting caught in the middle of this too. “No, just drop it. She said they can leave when I finish the vaccine and now that I’ve figured out the journal it shouldn’t take long.”

  “So you really did solve it,” he asks impressed.

  “I just need a bit more time,” I request though my voice wavers towards begging. Gratefully I notice that whatever emotions Tori toyed with earlier have faded. All she did was give me an emotional punch to send a message and I got it.

  Noticing the discomfort on Van’s face, my eyes turn dark with trepidation. “What?”

  “Tori sent me a message on my tablet with the order to inform you of your new deadline.”

  I swear my blood stops flowing for a moment before my heart remembers to beat. “How long?”

  Van remains reluctant and I squeeze his wrist tightly.

  “How long?”

  “One year.”

  I have to force myself to breathe against the tight band of fear crushing my chest. One year.

  “She said your new deadline is one year and then it will be administered to the selected subjects you have chosen.”

  “My what?”

  “Well, I presume you must have told her what subject would be best for trial testing? Mice maybe? I’m not privy to details, each project is kept confidential and I’m on a need-to-know basis beyond what I can glean from good old fashioned breakroom chitchat, gossip, and eavesdropping. I’m really just glorified staff management.”

  His attempt at lightening the mood is not lost on me, but I don’t have the energy to respond. Win and Remi. She’s going to test the drugs on Win and Remi. What would happen if I created something harmless to them? No, she’ll have some sort of backup plan, something to ensure I don’t get away with a switch…Or will she? If she’s confident enough in her plan of coercion, then perhaps a bit of trickery is possible after all…

  Hoping Arcas will return soon, I manage a smile at Van. “Panic attack,” I tell him in what I hope is a sheepish tone. “From all of the stress. I haven’t had one since college and I can’t believe you saw me having a silly panic attack after all of these years.”

  “Panic attacks can happen to anyone and they aren’t discriminatory with age,” he smiles back. “Honestly I’m amazed you haven’t had more what with all you’ve been asked to do.”

  The sound of the door opening catches our attention and Van steps away.

  “I’ll leave you three alone,” he murmurs kindly before exiting.

  I turn my head and watch Remi and Win hover by the end of my bed. We say nothing, just swap emotions with our eyes, our tense jaws, our twitching hands.

  “I’m sorry,” I whisper. I know they won’t want to hear the words, but they bubble up anyway.

  “Don’t,” Remi orders sharply.

  “They told us you had a severe panic attack,” Win asks softly.

  “It was Tori,” I explain. “I was too slow and my sleeves were pushed up…” Their expressions darken and I know they understand what happened.

  Win curses. “It’s my fault. She caught me by surprise and I didn’t have time to warn you.”

  “I’m sorry,” I can’t help but repeat.

  Remi steps closer and glowers. “Do not apologize for that shrew.”

  “Yeah, don’t apologize, Horseman,” Win teases. “It ruins your image.”

  I respond with an amused huff before worry clouds my face once more. “What are we going to do?”

  Remi and Win both cross their arms with uncanny synchronicity. “We’re gonna slip the noose and win,” Remi decrees cockily.

  Twenty-Seven

  1 YEAR LATER

  Night has long fallen, but my eyes don’t lift from my pencil racing across paper. So close, I nearly mutter aloud. I’m so close.

  “Morgan?”

  A hand touches my shoulder and I jolt from my stool, whipping around ready to attack the intruder.

  “Just me,” Van says swiftly, his hands lifted in surrender. “Your boys told me as management it’s my job to kick you out of the lab. Though if you won’t listen to them, I don’t know why you’d listen to me.”

  His words blow past my ears unheard. “I’m not finished,” I tell him, my eyes aching to close and my body tempted by the thought of rest.

  Van gives me a stern look. “For tonight, you are.” When I open my mouth to protest, he cuts me off. “We don’t have unlimited power, despite what you may think, so we’d love to cut the lights off. Also, we can’t leave an active lab unsecured and though we can rotate guards, your boys won’t leave until you do and they’re exhausted. Take a break, Morgan. For them.”

  Frowning I admit defeat. I can just picture Win and Remi leaning against the wall out in the hallway like wilting flowers. “Fine.” Grabbing a box, I hurriedly fill it with four dead mice then shove it down a chute to the incinerator.

  “What’s with the mice?” Van asks curiously.

  “They died,” I state the obvious with a sigh. “Too docile, they just sit, starve, and die. Balance is missing. Docile, but functional. Some amount of survival has to remain unleashed or they just sit there and…die.”

  Van looks slightly disturbed, but resumes a cool professional manner. “And if you don’t rest, then you’ll die.”

  “I don’t fit in the chute,” I mutter, not really listening again.

  Exiting the lab I find Win and Remi as I imagined them – exhausted and bored out of their minds.

  “Bed time!” Win shouts triumphantly.

  “I thought you had cards,” I ask.

  Remi shrugs unapologetically. “There are only so many games one can play before it sounds more appealing to use the cards to slit one’s own throat and end the misery.”

  Somewhat chastised, my eyes lower to the floor. “I’m close,” is all I say.

  Remi lets out a sigh. “Let’s go.”

  Van leaves without a word and I shuffle my way to my room, each step more difficult and desperate than the last. “I’m so close,” I mutter softly over and over as if by doing so it will solve something. Win and Remi exchange worried glances, but I ignore them. I’m so close.

  I don’t bother to even change my clothes before collapsing onto the bed and falling into a deep sleep. I know it was deep because when I awaken I see a nasty little drool stain on my pillow. Wrinkling my nose, I roll away and stretch my way slowly out of bed before making a beeline for the shower.

  Brushing my teeth quickly, I smooth my hair back into a simple ponytail before throwing on whatever clothes my hands grab first. I’m almost out the door when two scowling faces block my way.

  “What?” I ask, just wanting to return to the lab.

  “Breakfast,” Remi growls and Win shoves a muffin at my face.

  Snatching the food, I acquiesce without a fight. Eating the blueberry treat as we head towards my lab followed by a glass of orange juice, Win and Remi make idle chit chat. This is our compromise. I eat, but on the go.

  “There seems to be a bit of a buzz this morning,” Win comments with the excitement of a town gossip.

  Remi tenses. “I don’t like it. What could have them so stirred up?” Grabbing the flapping lab coat of a young scientist rushing past, he asks, “What’s going on?”

  The man (his badge says Oly) glances at his friends down the hall, likely wanting to be the one to break the news to them, but Remi is not the type of person
one can simply ignore. “Aresia is gone,” Oly spills.

  “Gone?” Win asks puzzled. “What do you mean it’s gone? A country can’t just vanish.”

  “Politically it can,” I guess uncomfortably.

  The youngster nods. “Aresia announced their voluntary annexation to the Southern Coalition this morning.”

  “Now why the hell would they do that?” Remi wonders surprised.

  “In an effort to help stabilize their economy,” Oly provides freely, his eyes bright from the major news break. “Seems running a country is more work than they thought it’d be when they assassinated the last regime.”

  Remi shoves Mr. Oly away and I watch him sprint to his clustered friends where they gossip and ponder what this means for them and for us. The Southern Coalition is divided between three leaders – Maria Juarez, Duke Abernathy, and apparently Sanctuary – so who is going to claim this new land? Will they add more leaders or divide it amongst themselves or are they going to battle it out, winner takes all?

  “This doesn’t make sense,” Remi insists low enough for only us to hear. “Bones is no fool and he felt confident in the people they used to fill Aresia’s leadership.”

  “Maddy worked on that assignment as well,” Win adds in agreement. “This doesn’t make sense.”

  A sudden, dark laugh bubbles out of my throat as I recall that long ago argument between Bones and Tori. “It makes perfect sense. The Pacific Confederation was supposed to fall under Sanctuary’s rule, but instead Bones gave them autonomy to govern themselves. It took a bit longer than planned, but don’t you see? Tori won.”

  “But Aresia isn’t under Sanctuary’s rule, they’re part of the Coalition now,” Win points out.

  “Pay attention,” I smile though it lacks any warmth or humor. “Sanctuary claimed the Unclaimed Territory in the north, then Tori Convici replaced Lucas Helmsworth as one of the Coalition’s triumvirate, and I’d bet going back to prison that they’re responsible for Aresia taking the knee too.” A rush of breath pushes out of my lungs at the game of it all. “Tori mentioned restoring the Union and Aresia just became another card in her hand.”

  “Should we be worried?” Remi wonders seriously.

  I think it over. “No, I don’t think so. There’s nothing wrong with uniting so long as the leadership is kept in check and that’s what we’re here to do. Besides, that’s not a battle we can win or even participate in. Let the others, if there are others, handle that. I’m here to focus on one thing, well, two, so let’s not waste any more time, yes?”

  We wind our way to the lab in silence, each of us lost in thought over these startling events. Briefly I wonder how Tori managed it, but then I know just how far she’ll go to get what she wants. I wouldn’t be surprised if she somehow used or manipulated her Sanctuary Agents to intentionally destabilize any efforts to rebuild, any progress newborn Aresia made at all, to force them into asking for help even if it meant surrender. Bones and Maddy seemed confident in the new leadership, which means that leadership would lay down their power for the good of the people and Tori would know that.

  Not my problem, I remind myself. No, my immediate problem concerns the Wild Cousins trapped under threat of torture and death if I don’t meet the deadline. Thankfully, I’m so very close and as I seat myself on my stool and stare down at my latest hypothesis with a fresh mind…it clicks.

  I stand alone, the lab cleared of all other personnel except for Win and Remi who flank the door, with my hands clasped behind my back and my eyes pinned on the clock. It shouldn’t be taking Tori so long to arrive, but once the door opens I understand the delay. Dr. Convici strides in and my bones become ice. Summoning from the depths of my self-control, I maintain an impassive façade. Tori must have used her gift, enough at least to bring her sister here to verify my claim.

  “I see you brought a guest,” I tell Tori, skipping past any sort of greeting.

  “This is my facility,” Dr. Convici replies coolly. “The guest here is you.” She tilts her head ever so slightly. “Prisoner, technically, as you’re still serving your sentence.”

  By the grace of God I don’t react, forcing her barb to miss its mark.

  “You said you’ve completed Projects Janus and Poppy,” Tori steps in lightly.

  Steeling myself, I meet her eyes. “Yes.” Tori gives me a subtle nod, reaffirming our agreement. “If you’ll please,” I gesture towards a silver case on the table beside me and both women step towards it eagerly.

  Dr. Convici reaches out with a slight tremble in her hands as she pops open the lock and lifts the lid, revealing three lavender vials and three amber vials within.

  “Janus is lavender,” I explain in clipped tones. “Poppy is amber.”

  “I need a syringe,” Dr. Convici orders to no one in particular.

  I fetch a reloadable autoinjector in nothing more than a perfunctory manner and lay it on the table station between us. “Care for a drumroll?” I offer flatly.

  She glances up from the vial rolling between her fingers. “No.”

  Naught but efficient, I watch transfixed as Dr. Convici loads the syringe with a purple vial. Her face gives nothing away, but Tori’s betrays her anxious hope.

  “This is it,” she can’t help but breathe aloud. “You’ll finally be back.”

  Dr. Convici ponders the cure in her palm for a moment before approaching her sister who stood hovering behind as if knowing this isn’t her moment. This moment belongs to Dr. Liz Convici.

  “In theory,” she tells her sister before turning towards me. “You are confident you are correct, Ms. Travers?”

  My spine shivers at her use of my name, but my chin remains level and my gaze steady. “Your sister gave me a deadline and I’m not partial to failure.”

  “I did warn you,” she reminds me quietly.

  I give her a hard smile. “And I warned others.”

  “You’ll never win if you keep giving away the upper hand.”

  “Not once in my life have I ever presumed to possess such a thing.”

  Her eyes search my own. “One can never be sure,” she murmurs to herself. In a single swift, fluid motion she pivots, launching the dose towards a new target.

  I don’t even have time to scream before Remi flinches painfully as the needle tears through his skin. Horror twists my features and I’m frozen in place as he wrenches the needle from his neck and collapses onto the floor. Win drops down beside him calling his name nearing hysterics.

  “Why did you do that?!” I shriek, demanding answers from the monster before me.

  “To be sure this wasn’t an attempt of revenge,” she shrugs unruffled.

  “You flatter yourself,” I spit angrily.

  Snapping the lid shut on the silver case containing the remaining two doses of Janus, she places it directly into her sister’s hands. “Hold onto this. I don’t want it tampered with. And keep him in observation for three days then find me.”

  Tori leads her sister out, returning her to whatever padded cage she dwelled in, before securing the box in her office and sending Van to deal with Remi.

  Win and I manage to carry Remi’s now unconscious body to an observation room. I have to drag Win out with me.

  Three days pass and Remi’s vitals remain stable, he’s conscious, in perfect health, but the cut across Win’s palm continues to bleed no matter how hard Remi tries. The crashing reality in his eyes cuts me deep in the heart, worse for knowing I caused it.

  “He’ll be alright,” Tori says, walking over to stand beside me where I watch Remi through the one-way glass.

  I say nothing. I can’t even begin to string words into coherency for this woman.

  “I didn’t know she would do that,” Tori adds with a touch of apology in her tone. “Doesn’t help that you gave her one of those spring-loaded syringes.”

  Cutting her a burning glare, I grit out, “She would have tested it on someone regardless. And as Python largely works with clinics and peoples in the so-called wilderne
ss of the Coalition where trained physicians and nurses are woefully uncommon, autoinjectors are the main supply for medications.”

  “You designed it with that boy in mind,” she guesses, recalling the nephew plagued with mind-reading abilities.

  “If he’s still alive, he wouldn’t be a boy by now,” I point out rather than respond to the assumption.

  Tori turns towards me and when I meet her gaze I see nothing but genuine feeling there. “Thank you, Morgan Travers. On my sister’s behalf and my own, thank you.”

  Again I can’t bring myself to respond and in the wake of my silence she leaves, eager to restore her sister to her former glory.

  “It’s just a suppressant though,” Win recalls. “It’ll wear off or be reversible, right Morgan?”

  I move my pasta around my plate without really eating anything, avoiding the hope in Win’s eyes and the loss in Remi’s. “I don’t think so,” I answer finally.

  “What?” Win gasps in disbelief. “What do you mean? You said–”

  Remi slams his cup down on the table. “Let it go, cuz,” he snaps. “Can’t you see what you’re doing to her?”

  My eyebrows rise toward my hairline. “To me?”

  “Yes. You,” he growls. “You’re already torturing yourself with misplaced guilt and his determined optimistic babble is just rubbing salt in the wound because you of all people know just how futile his efforts are.”

  “It isn’t misplaced,” I insist softly.

  “If you didn’t create that drug, then we would have been punished for it. Even if you managed for it to only be temporary, Dr. Convici would find out the second she analyzed the drug for herself and we would have been punished. If you’d tried to use the opportunity to kill or debilitate Convici, then I’d be dead or worse. If you had done anything but what you did, I assure you that Win and I at least would have been worse off than we are now,” he lectures adamantly. “So I can’t heal people with my touch now,” he shrugs. “Big deal, neither can anyone else.”